Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Legal Department Memo: Labelling Issue

Mr. Wallbanger and Mr. Johnson: 
Be advised that the President of the United States has issued a Directive that could negatively impact our public image, and could delay FDA approval of our corn products in the United States. This Directive requires that all foods containing GM ingredients should be labeled in a clear manner, so that consumers can make informed decisions about their purchases. While we in the legal office applaud his interest in free-market economics, we feel that these labels might be misinterpreted as health warnings, causing American consumers to avoid our corn, even though no negative health effects have been proved in our product. We should chart a legal agenda to put a stop to this before it starts. Product labeling in Europe has cost our Corporation billions of Euros. Nobody wants to eat anything that is  genetically modified. The legal department suggests the following rhetoric be applied to any public statements concerning this issue: 
"America is not a kingdom. The President does not have the legal power to give such a command, and we intend to do everything in our lawful power to assure that America's people do not lose their God-given right to make a free choice in the marketplace. When the public can decide for itself what brand to buy, we believe they will choose Econocorn, because we are the best. No misleading labels should be allowed on our products." 
A lawsuit has been filed in Circuit Court, Econocorn vs The President of the United States of America. Hearing is scheduled for August, 2013. 
Has Bill crunched the numbers yet?


George
PS: Are we playing this weekend?  Ten a.m. at the club. See you then.

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